I have been in a long-term relationship (nine years) with a Filipina. We have been best friends and lovers during that time.
Her Background: Works two jobs in the healthcare field. She is a single mom of two children living at home (12 and 13 years old). The demands on her time are enormous. Complains that she does not have much time for anything.
My background: I am a widower with three children (18 years and older) that I have made my best effort to be mom and dad. I have a struggling oldest child that I am concerned about her but tend to not meddle in her affairs, unless asked for help. The idea is that she is an adult and desires to work thorugh most problems on her own. I have the youngest child who is struggling with issues of personal responsibility and wrong priorities. Everything has been tried with him with no positive results. I am bankrupt of ideas to correct his behavior but it is unacceptable for me to live in a house working to support a person who refuses to help themself or contribute anything to help in the house.
The Problem: My partner and I seem to be in disagreement on how I should be of help to my kids. I am being judged as having given up on my youngest son and not doing enough to help my oldest daughter with her tough economic situation. This disagreement has caused friction between us to the point that we are not speaking to each other for three weeks. It seems that she has lost alot of respect for me. I have explained my heart is in the place it should be and to trust that I know what I am doing. She is hardheaded believing that i am not troubled with my daughter's suffering and have given up helping my son. I think her real concern is that I would not be there for her kids if we are to be married, if they have similar problems.
Question: It is apparent that she wants to seperate from me for at least awhile, likely permanent. I just don't understand when she says " you need to love your kids". She is
