Ladies help please

[Steve]

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Ladies-
I'm 52 years old and really have fallin for a 35 year old lady from the Philipines in Afghanistan where we both work.  We have known each other casually for about 6 months and the past two months we have become good friends.  I have showered her with gifts, money, clothes whatever I think she would like.  We started to have contact a few times a day and started to see each other to several times a day and enjoyed being with each other.  Last week I asked her "May I kiss you" and I was surprisefd that she seemed to be shocked that  I asked to kiss her .  Then she has not answered my texts, calls or e-mails and said she need space.   

Very suprised that asking to kiss her caused such a problem.  I have apologized but it appears she wants no contact with me at all.  I'm confused and really do not understand. Any advice you can provide would sure be appreciated.   

[serious_faye]

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hello Mr.. welcome sa PLF..

are you sure she is single? if you are so sure that she don't have husband and kids left here in the Philippines then maybe she got it wrong when you ask her for a kiss. You mention that you became good friends (not lovers) and you showered her with gifts, money, clothes etc..When you ask for a kiss it might be that she's thinking you're asking for the return of those things you gave to her. That's why she seems so shocked.

Just give her enough time to cope with her emotions. I think she's angry or maybe upset for what you did.
She's asking for some space then give it to her. Only time will tell.

[Steve]

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Thank you so much for your advice.  No, not sure she single but she has no ring and has never told me she was married.  I divorced 12 years ago and have three daughters.   I recall saying to her " May I kiss you".   Wanted so much to just kiss her gently on the cheek before saying good night.  Think maybe I have just been drowning her with so many gifts at once and she might think  she is somehow obligated because she has joyfully accepted the gifts.  A few weeks ago she mentioned she wanted to get a new jacket for winter and I bought her four jackets.  Really want this to work and hope our relationship can progress. I have to leave in 2 weeks and go back to Vegas for four months then I will come back here.  I know she could use some extra money to help her Mom and Dad. Want to give her $5,000  before I head out  but not sure if that will help or hurt things because it might look like I expect something in return.  I do not expect but  hope and pray that someday our friendship will become much more.  Do you think the money is a good idea.  I'm hoping she will go home for a few weeks and see her family.  Thank you for nay feedback or advice you can provide

[Heartless Herptile]

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Perhaps she's conservative and/or your action may have been misconstrued. It's nice you're giving her things and all but maybe it's time to think about it for a bit. I'm assuming you want to be more than friends, right? So maybe giving her all these things may be going too fast, especially if you are just friends (for now). Maybe that's why she may be feeling obligated. I know you want to help her out and get to know her a lot more. Perhaps you could slow down a bit on giving her things. No offense.

[serious_faye]

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Perhaps she's conservative and/or your action may have been misconstrued. It's nice you're giving her things and all but maybe it's time to think about it for a bit. I'm assuming you want to be more than friends, right? So maybe giving her all these things may be going too fast, especially if you are just friends (for now). Maybe that's why she may be feeling obligated. I know you want to help her out and get to know her a lot more. Perhaps you could slow down a bit on giving her things. No offense.

agree..

[IAMRJ]

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hi sir! i am a guy but i can't resist commenting on your post.
i know you really LIKE this woman and you could already be 'in love' with her. she may already be 35 but she could still be the typical pinay, friendly yet conservative. don't force the issue, if she also likes you then let it happen naturally. i have a rule: NEVER SHOWER A GIRL WITH GIFTS BECAUSE THIS WOULD MAKE YOU DESPERATE!. what a girl needs is a guy who can make her feel good  . you need to understand and to learn more about her by having passionate conversations with her and not by bribing her with pretty things. (no offense) good luck to you sir 

[Steve]

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Thanks for the good advice.  Will admit  sure want to be more then friends.  I can see why you say bribing her, trying to force the issue and just going to fast.  I'm am very thankful for the advice you guys have provided. Have been blessed finacially and think I have went way overboard on some very expensive gifts thinking somehow material things can replace what is really important such as building trust, respect and getting to know each other on a deeper level
Thanks Again for making me see what I should have known I am grateful. 

[IAMRJ]

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you are welcome sir 

[Marisa Margatroid]

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It's not that bad to give gifts to the woman you love, but you need to assess yourself... are you giving her the gifts for friendship's sake? or do you want something in return? I agree with IAMRJ, you should never shower the girl with gifts especially if you two are not in a relationship, this would make the girl think that you're asking something in return. And if she's conservative it's ethical not to receive gifts you're not affiliated to...

My advice is first, clear things up with her. Tell her that you're not giving her gifts because you want something in return... tell her that you are just helping her and is sharing your blessings with friends... give her space after that... give her time to think things over. Then after you have regain your old relationship, be a new man to her. Just like what IAMRJ said, give her remarkable conversations and show her that you respect her. You could then take it slowly from there... don;t go too fast, let her have her pace