HELP ME: I'm a Stalker and i'm depressed

[kimho]

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hello to all forum members,

my current psychiatrist just diagnosed me that i have some sort of mental problem. i am a stalker and at least once a year i will stalk some girl that i like. pinupuntahan ko yung school niya and i can't spend a day without looking at her. magaling din ako mag-research sa net kaya nakukuha ko agad name nung girl, den FB account niya and eventually phone number. i would send flowers, love letters and also senti messages sa FB.

i'm getting depressed because ang dami dami kong effort at hindi man lang ako napapansin ng girl. i know that stalking is not the right way to win a girl's heart but it is quite depressing.

sometimes pumapasok din sa isipan ko na kidnapin ko na lang yung girl and some other bad things but i know hindi naman ako capable to do bad things coz i never ever had any criminal record or even a bad school record. i'm still a good standing citizen. i just need some pretty girl to love me and then i'd be happy.

[Heartless Herptile]

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Welcome! First of all, congratulations. You admitted you have a problem and were willing to get help. Perhaps your psychiatrist can recommend ways on how you can address this problem.

Perhaps we've all been online stalkers at some point, though this would mostly consist of just looking at the person's pics from time to time and nothing further than that. Sending messages, especially greetings, getting-to-know-you, friendly type messages is still OK. Flowers and love letters though - perhaps not yet, especially if you've just met and more especially if you just met online.

How about just starting by being friends first? Also, what about your other friends? You could hang out with them so you won't think of those thoughts especially when you're alone. When you're alone and have nothing to do, all sorts of thoughts enter your head, both good and not-so-good. You can't make a person like you or love you, they have to decide for themselves. What you can do is make yourself more likeable by having a bright attitude. Don't project any feeling of desperation. Got any hobbies? If not maybe you should have one to help take your mind of this by keeping you mentally or physically stimulated or both. Have a really close relative or good buddy who understands you? Speak with that person, maybe he/she has suggestions.

Acknowledging you have a problem is a key step in solving it and you did that. Good luck!

[cho]

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did you get a prescription for antidepressants?

[pastor paradox]

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Not a good way to win a girl's heart.
Stalking freaks people out.
I am a guy and I was stalked by a woman. And I was scared, so think how the girl feels
Anyway you are getting professional help, so that is a start

[juil_juil]

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heya. well, why dont you approach the girl personally before giving her those things?

before you do those things, you gotta know her personally, or just plain talk to her. you'll see, she'll appreciate that, rather giving her gifts first without proper introducing yourself

[pastor paradox]

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Basically I think you have a fear of rejection.
Juil Juil gave really good advice.
Start by just casually talking to women.
Try not to be a pervert like me (joke but serious)
Or maybe even do what herptile suggested, just text, but honestly text, not the stalking type text
Make friends that way.

Most women are really nice

[Heartless Herptile]

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Most women are really nice

Yes. You just need to get to know them and try not to have a foot-in-mouth situation. If you have women friends, try speaking with them more often so you'll be more comfortable around women.

[kimho]

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i do not have the body and the face to even court the girl i like. i'm just an average guy and not the macho type. she is a beauty queen of their school and she has lots of admirers.

siguro i need to lower my standards and just be contented with what i can get. sabi nga ng psychiatrist ko "stalkers have the tendency to believe that the girl will fall in love with them if they keep stalking the girl"

[pastor paradox]

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Growing up is hard. From like 16 to 22 was a pretty shitty time in my life.

Anyway for the so called "beauty queen".
As I always say "No Guts, No Glory, No pain, No gain"
Go talk to her, maybe she blows you off, maybe she tells you to make love off.
At least you can say you tried. Maybe people might laugh at you, but they will forget about it after a week.

If she has lots of admires, you have to be more creative.
In my experience most "beauty queens" are a fucking waste of time.
Shallow,bubble headed and stupid.

10 years from now, you will be wondering, WTF did I see in her.

[Vera Farmiga]

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i also thought that "beauty queens" are shallow minded and they just want to boost their ego from winning beauty contests. but without their so called "physical beauty" they do not have anything good to offer.

for the thread starter, you should build first your confidence and practice how to court a girl. perhaps you can hire a dating coach or something like that to teach you.

i think that most stalkers do not have enough self confidence that is why they just text you and send you flowers without approaching you.

[Heartless Herptile]

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Maybe you have other good qualities going for you. If this girl is the type who values outward appearance then she may not be the best one for you. It's sad but it's reality nonetheless. Not all beauty queens have the same stereotype though. A simple "hi" from you and her response to it may give you the info that you need to know on her personality. At least try. And what the others said about confidence, try building that up.

[pastor paradox]

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There is a difference between a "beauty queen" and a woman who is physically beautiful.

[Heartless Herptile]

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Ah, hence the quotation marks. 

[guile42]

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kakatakok ka naman, pero oks lng yon kapag walang palag ang hinahabol mo ibig sabihin gusto nya din.

[DocEdd]

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Sir can I ask you what anti depressants are you taking?