how to fix this..its driving me nuts..seriously

[orchard18]

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Hi Guys. I'd like to ask the opinion of the girls in this forum. I'll be sharing my story so the problem would be understood in a better way. Thanks.

So my gf and I were doing well and not a day passed that we didn't text, call and videochat with each other. Now I know Sure, we go out and we are always happy beyond words but its not easy because she's got a kid and she's a single mom. Anyway, It all started when my family found out about her and just as I expected, they didn't approve of our relationship..Now I know people would say that its not wrong to love someone who has a kid but seriously, most people think otherwise...especially here in Manila.

I didn't break up with her but we were both pressured and one day, she said we should break up so we could fix our lives and if kami pa then bahala na...so I agreed. Then after a few hours that day she texted me and asked "Okay na ba tayo?" So I asked her "what do you mean?" and she replied 'Di na tayo break?" so I didn't know what to say so I replied "akala ko sabi mo break tayo kase you wanted to fix things muna?" then she took it in a way na ayoko makipagbalikan. After a few days, i was asking her na magbalikan kami...

Now..during this time, we had several arguments mainly because of jealousy and lack of trust on my part...and giuys, you can't blame me because I don't see my gf often so of course, the absence of her presence would make me think of the worst case scenarios...until such time na naging grabe na pagseselos ko..but I just didn't want lose her. Now i know girls would say its a matter of trust..but its not as easy as you think..especially if you see it from a man's point of view.

Anyway, I thought na wala na talaga kami so I did the dumbest mistake and asked her if I could get to know her friend. Now her friend is really pretty, single and has no child..so obviously, she's got some leverage over my gf..or ex for that matter...but at the last minute, I changed my mind and deleted the friend from my facebook list because I loved my ex and sya padin gusto ko. Now, the arguments continued until such time na she gave up na....saying ayaw na nya and all that...so I had to be humble and convince her for another chance...and most often, I would get answers such as "Hay", "ewan ko", "hmmm" or replies that suggested that I really did the big bad mistake.


Now here's the thing...what I did isn't the worst and there are other cases with other couples wherein mas grabe pa ang nangyari..and what I want to know is how to get my ex back...I fought for her against my family and it wasn't easy...but still, I love her and sya padin gusto ko. So, any suggestions?
last night we were talking and I asked bakit di na sya nagtetext masydo..its because sinasanay daw nya sarili nya...maybe with getting used to not talking to me para makalimutan ako....pero she still texts..kahit paisa isa..so thats still something, right?

Sorry for the long kwento..but really, i want her back...its just not the same without her. thanks guys.

[DocEdd]

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Buddy, I won’t lift a finger to help you. You know why? Because for her protection. Forget about what you feel, I’m more concerned about the safety of this single mom. She has a child can’t you see? What would you do if a lunatic keeps barging in on your life and keeps telling you to get back with him and you’ve got a kid to feed and protect at the same time?

She is only doing that because you’re now being possessive. Remember this, and I want you to keep this in your thick head before you hurt any girl in the future:  GIRLS DO NOT WANT POSSESSIVE GUYS! GENIOUS!

You’re now disrespecting her privacy by being such a dick by texting her and asking her to go back with you. If you gave her the respect she needs, she would have gone back but since you persisted, she refused and saw a side of you that she fears so she defended herself by saying things that can hurt you.

I got to tell you, accept the fact that she is gone before you went even further with your possessiveness. That can lead to obsession and can destroy what made her love you in the first place. Don’t choose girls just to cover up your sadness. Let the depression work its magic. The reason why it hurts so much it’s because you can’t accept the fact that she’s gone.

Accept it now man before you become worse. Have some balls and face this challenge in your life. You’re not gay are you? You’re not some cry-baby just because some silly girl left you? Is that who you are? Is that what you’re going to be when someone leaves you? Cry like a little girl instead of facing it like a man? Are you the same as other dickheads who leaves women when they got them pregnant?

Do yourself a favor, look at yourself and what you have become right now. She did not want you because you’ve changed. You’ve changed into a person she hates. You’ve changed into a person that she remembered in the past that made her a single mother.

For her, she’s tired of that kind of man. She wants someone who can give her the freedom she needs. Someone who can give her the freedom of fear, that can give her the freedom to choose for herself and accept her for who she is and all the imperfections that she has.

I’m sorry dude, you’re not that one. She already said that to you. So pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Don’t be such a loser just because it’s hurts. Seriously, you’re like a gay guy that has been raped from a prison cell. Face what you have like a man. You’ll make this through without her, trust me.

 

[orchard18]

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alright i understand your point sir. but please..do not judge me as if you know me completely..that isnt even the whole story..you talk as if you know everything by heart.. now i understand that you're a senior member here in this forum but i think the way you delivered what you said was inappropriate. sure, i know you're going to get back with some kind of message again. but the story i shared doesnt sum up everything..its only part of it sir. im not disrespecting here sir..im just saying..if you were in my place what would you do? its very easy to just walk away..sure..lots of other girls..and im not gay just so you know..its easy to say something especially if you haven't been in a situation like this..and i was hoping for advice..not a sermon coupled with insult.

[DocEdd]

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I’m 47 and a Psychiatrist. I deal with the worst type of relationship situation you can think of. That situation of yours is just child’s play to me, I’ve seen far worse than what you had and I’ve solved them millions of times. If you do not want my advice then go find yourself an experienced expert who would do that for free.

Buti nga binibigyan kita ng advice. Free pa, tapos magrereklamo ka?

For your information, I am not disrespecting you. I’m mad because you’re disrespecting that girl of yours. You think this is disrespect, you’re the one being possessive not me. I’m sorry if you’re offended, but life is not going to treat you good either, in fact it’s going to be brutal on you.

Me, this is just a dot on what life is going to let you suffer if you push through that possessiveness of yours.

You’re right, I do not know you well, then why did you ask people in this forum who also know nothing of you? Why don’t you ask your mother? Or Father?

Buti nga hindi kita inisulto. Believe me I can be very insulting. I can degrade your personality if I want to, I can bend your mind if I want to, but I won’t. I’m not a monster. I respect people, good or bad.

Don’t be so defensive just because I’m trying to kick your head so you could wake up on your fantasy world of yours. Be grateful because you’ve learned something today. Believe me other professional won’t even give a damn about you, but I do. I even gave it for free and you throw it back at me? Who’s insulting now? Who’s disrespecting?

Yes I can be rude, and so what? Do you think life is going to baby you if you made a mistake? You push through with what you’re thinking this girl is going to press charges against you. Sigh! I’m trying to convince you to save your life and the life of your girl.

For crying out loud, you ask an obsessive question and expect others to respect you when your trying to be selfish of this girl? Tell that to any professional and they’ll say even much more worse rants than what I’ve pulled off.

Geez, no wonder she left you. Kaunting kalabit lang galit agad. You can’t even control your anger. I said that because you deserve to be said like that because as if you're trying to kill this girl.