I was 2nd year college back then, 1st day of classes always starts off with introductions, things to bring, expectations etc. I haven't really notice her back then. She was simple person but very pretty but at that time i dont see her that way.
Our seats were arranged alphabetically, therefore we became seatmates for our surnames both start with letter D.
I had a girlfriend back then, and she was single, at that time we started talking and became real good friends.
She had a crush with my bestfriend that time, so i decided to help her get noticed by my bestfriend, she being the super shy type and my guy friend not really interested in her, eventually nothing romantic ever happened between them. She remained shy and silently crushing on my best bud
My girlfriend at that time left me... for reasons upto now i still dont. We are now friends, and at one time I asked her what happened between us out of curiosity. All she could reply was "wala naging ***** lang tlaga ako noon". Im not really sure what that meant..
My seatmate comforted me all throughout the break up process.. we were very close at that time, she always cheers me up. There was times that i get teary eyed at class when i remember my ex and through her own sweet way with a touch and her words, she would make me laugh and made my tears pull away.
Nearing summer i started to get the feeling that i might be falling for her, suddenly her smiles give me warmth inside, her hug makes me feel that i can do anything in the World.
We happened to be on the same group duty, being nursing students we were asigned at a hospital in Batangas. for 3days and 2nights we were in batangas. Our duty was at 10pm to 6am. After duty we would just hang around our dorm, watching movies together.
At one time i decided to wake her to prepare for duty i kissed her nose to wake her up she woke but said nothing, for us being close so much that was nothing.
At the bus ride going home she would sleep at my shoulders, I could go on through eternty just sitting there beside her, watching her, wishing she would just be mine.
Her crush with my bestfriend never stopped, that's why i never stopped doing things to get them together, sometimes setting them up to end up having a moment alone for them to get to talk to each other. But deep inside im hurting a lil, and a bit jealous.
Then one day she told me she dreamed of a new guy in our class, hence we called him her "Dreamboy"
she said that he was her new crush, and that he was also in our class. She wouldn't admit it for me,. for days it tortured me on the thought that what if this new guy liked her back, will he forever take my beloved seatmate away from me?? she wouldn't reveal to me the name of our classmate that became her dreamboy, I was "tampo" a little at her for starting to keep secrets to me
One night, a week after she admitted the new dream guy. I've dreamed of her too.
( i dont recall the place or what the dream was about all i remember was i saw her standing in front of me, crying and all i could do was tell her everything will be allright and kissed her )
I woke up, wishing the dream had been true.
I tortured her back , telling her I also dreamed of a girl... my "dreamgirl"
days passed and we go on pushing each other to reveal who is each other's dreamgirl/boy
We watched a danced movie that was a hit at that time, we were with friends but even though we are a group, nothing else mattered. and everything seemed like nonexistent... for us it was just the two of us there.. together... she was cold so she was leaning towards me, and I put my arms around her in an attempt to keep her warm... and to calm my heart. The latter was not working
that night she admitted who the mysterious "dreamguy" is
It Was ME
I told her she was my dreamgirl also...
we both felt everything was magical, was meant to be.... and we will be together forever
We lasted 1 year 2 months
After graduation we ended apart.
Through the usual couple having one arguments over the other, she asked for space. I gave it to her... after 5 days she had another boyfriend
, her co worker. My world stopped. i dont know how that happened, how it was possible
I dont want her to go, i loved her so much... i even said that Im ok being the number 2... i just dont want her to go...
She was confused herself, and I ended up giving her a choice. to pick me or his new guy
I gave her a week to decide... after a week.. he chosed the new guy
It hurts so much... no pain i could compare it to... but hope never died..
She ask for an extention.. another week to choose... I waited... but still she chose Him.
I wished i could just die there....
after another week she asked if we could still be friends, stupidly i agreed... it hurt... but its the only way for me to have a little bit of normalcy in my life.. for normal to me is a life with her.
realizing that its better off to end, because its going nowhere and i need to start to focus for my board exam. I stopped being friends with her, because i could no longer bare the pain.
2 months later a recieved a text from her... she said she wants me back. Im not yet finished with my review at that time, the board exam was nearing. and at that time we're too from each other
I said.. I already gave her my best, I really did.. but that wasn't enough... now i couldn't give her my full attention and if before my best wasn't enough.. then a part of me will not suffice either
that was the last time i talked to her...
I still think about her... I kinda missed her... i hear that shes no longer here in the Phil. Writing this had my heart remembering the love and the pain...
and even though we ended up like this... two persons who thought that our souls were meant for each other.. are now two strangers far from each other.. and she will remain to be the one i could never forget
