confused by mixed signals

[slicky23]

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i really need help on this one, as i am hopelessly in love.  I am not filipino, i am chinese, i met this amazing filipina in a third country here in asia where we both work, we first met thru mutual friends and went out to dinner with friends.  The second time we all went out, she informed me that her bf had broken up with her, and we ended up isolating ourselves from the group and talked for about 5 hours.  We started seeing eachother, alot!! however she keeps giving me mixed signals, we arent officially together, i am still in the courting stage.  when i am with her, she is so loving, but when i am not with her, i always have to initiate the contact.  If i dont see her, we may only talk on the phone 20 minutes a day, and with that she says i am demanding too much of her time.  About a month ago, i went to philippines to visit her family by myself because she couldnt get off work.  She tells me that is normal while courting, that the man visits the family, even though we arent together yet.  Now she wants me to go again next month to visit her family.  I have fallen in love with this girl, and her family is just as wholesome and wonderful.  but here is the problem.  I have been seeing her for almost 4 months now, and i know for a fact that there is not regular contact between her and her ex-bf, but she tells me that she still loves him, but is trying to move on.  I told her i dont know if i can handle waiting knowing that she still loves someone else because my feelings for her are too intense.  she tells me she has feelings for me and doesnt want to lose me, but she isnt yet ready for a relationship because all she feels is fear of losing someone again, but last week, he contacted her via online chat, and she spoke to him for 45 minutes, she says they were only talking as friends and that he already has another girlfriend.  I am so confused as what to do.  I do love her, and if its just time, i would wait until she is ready, but if she is still in love with someone else then i dont know.....also, i dont think i am willing to accept her still having communications with her ex-bf.  two weeks ago she moved about 5 hours away, and she always tells all her friends how much she miss them, but she never says that to me.....i asked her why, because i know she does, and she tells me its the filipina style.  Is all this just a big waiting game? Is she still testing me? or is she really unable to move past the trauma her ex-bf caused her?  Does it really mean nothing as she says about me meeting her family?  In my culture, if I introduce a significant other to my family, it would mean its a serious relationship....does she take me seriously but just wont quite admit it yet?? Please help me analyze this situation, i am driving myself insane because i am so in love with her!!!!!!!

[mycrappylife]

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dude...nah uh...i dont think so..



I mean she might be telling to you its the filipina style but maybe ur judgement is just being clouded by love

[pastor paradox]

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When u go to the family do you bring lots of gifts ? :D:D
And does she tell you stupid stories about mommy in hospital ?
Or is it little brother in school ?
Or daddy can not work because of ?

I go with ......

dude...nah uh...i dont think so..



I mean she might be telling to you its the filipina style but maybe ur judgement is just being clouded by love

She sounds like a bargirl to me. Lots of bargirl have bf.
How do u know there is no "regular" contact with her ex-bf ?
You hired a detective to follow her around ?
I have seen this story too many times.

99% of filipina are great, but there is that 1% who will make ur life a world of hurt if u not careful

[tabitha28]

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What ended up happening with your situation? I am in a similar position now and want to know if should keep hoping, or just move on.

[pastor paradox]

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What ended up happening with your situation? I am in a similar position now and want to know if should keep hoping, or just move on.

Probably it ended in "tears"
I will rephrase the above statement I made. 99.9% of filipina are great.
But with that 0.1% you will be in a world of hurt.
The girl will play you, and sometimes the family is on the scam, sometimes not.

Even with bargirls (technically not all bargirls are prostitutes).
About 25% of them are great girls.
It is a simple relationship, you pay them money (lady drinks) for their time, they provide you with company (a lot of the time not even sexual in nature).
A good bargirl will not play games with you etc.
A know a couple of good bargirls. They tell me stories of how many other bargirls play foreigners.
We joke around, tell each other stories,sing KTV, have drinks etc.

One bargirl whom I have known for over 3 years.
I jokingly said "I love you" to her. She took me serious.
She then told me straight out, don't ever say that, I am a "working girl".
I like her since she is up front and honest.
Don't ever fall in love with a bargirl. you will be in a world of hurt
But many of them a good girls

[shiva007]

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yes,i think she like you.