This girl drives me crazy...any help is welcome!

[sleepingtodream]

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Basically, I'm 21, and I've liked this girl since I was 17 and she was 16. I liked her since we first met and we've always been a part of each other's lives; though I'd really like to be more a part of hers. And since she broke up with her boyfriend of five years, about a year ago, we've gotten a little bit closer.

It's odd; she never really has anything to say; but any time I start the conversation she'll respond. Though the conversation usually ends up about me because everything is just "alright" in her world. And when I try to get to know her more, she seems to get weirded out. For example, a game I often play when trying to get to know somebody; the 'random' game, had her asking me "Why I wanna know". Still, I like the girl, so, I try to be friends with her, and her level of depth often has us talking about me again.

Yeah, this situation seems to be one that screams "BACK OFF!!!". And yet, while she obviously never texts me first, she does odd things every now and then that say the opposite. For example, the night before my birthday party I met her on the street and casually invited her - not really expecting a positive response. And whereas normal folks would 'check their schedule and try to make it' her instant response was "I'll be there."

On the same level, I texted her last night, just saying hey darlin, and she didn't text back. She did however, for the first time ever, write me first, this evening on facebook. She basically said "Sorry I didn't text back last night, I had no credit, I wasnt being rude or anything ". Of course, me being me, and being a guy, I acted like an idiot and said "No worries I wasn't waiting all night for you to reply " it was meant as a joke, but she didn't take it as such. I tried to swerve it away - I asked her how she was. And as is normal with facebook chat, I could see she was writing for quite some time. Finally, she went offline. And later wrote from her phone "Glad I'm getting drunk" - now that part might not have anything to do with this situation, but it's certainly confusing trying to figure this girl out.

I'd really love to say something to her about how I feel, and yet, I really feel like I should back off and forget about her. It's a crazy situation and one I've never been in because I've never actually cared about anybody like I do for her - even though we rarely/never hang out, and I only know the surface information - where she goes to college etc.

Wow. That's a lot to read. Sorry about that. But any advice is helpful.

[pastor paradox]

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I think there is 2 possible scenarios.
1) The girl is not suitable for you. And you just think she is. When you are young this is really easy to happen. I matched up with a girl when I was a lot younger. We went out for like 4 years and lived together for 2 years. She was really quiet, and I thought that meant she agreed with the same things I did etc. The biggest myth is that opposites attract. Reality is that in a relationship you have to have common ground. If that is the case, just be friends don't pursue the relationship more. It is a recipe for disaster and both of you will get hurt.

2) She just broke up from a long relationship. It takes time for someone to recover. It is possible that she is telling the truth that she did not have any load. Obviously she would not have written on your FB page she had no load. So maybe now that she is recovered she might be looking into dating again.

Only way to find out is that you both start talking. Maybe she is really shy. In this case I am not expert . Usually I like women who are talkative . But do "talking" things together, like going for coffee etc. Going to movies is a bad idea, since niether of you can talk to each other. Also don't rush things. In this case I think you need advice from women on the forum who are shy .

[sleepingtodream]

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I wouldn't dismiss the idea that she's shy. It's pure speculation, but at her age, having had a relationship that long, she could probably have had only one relationship. Meanwhile, she acts like she's confident, but she hasn't really had much opportunity to gain real confidence in herself.
And now that you say it, while she jumped at the opportunity to be at my birthday, when she was there, she was pretty much on her own all night. And she often sat with her friend outside the function room or sat in the smoking area.
Yeah, I think she might be shy.