Help, I need advice__I am Confuse...

[jennifer_aragon]

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After my break up with my ex (he broke up with me because I cannot make him happy, he said I am immature, boring and he doesnt love me), I have met this guy through text, at first I really did not like him, probably physically, he is not my type, then later on, after few months and after meeting him, I felt something, he is gentleman, thoughtful, sweet, caring etc.  Then what I though now after three months is I liked him, and I even fell in love with him I think.  We dated a lot soon we have been dating for five months now.  Right now I am confused if I really love him or what:  here are the reasons:

He is really not my type, physically I don't like him, my cousins been teasing me that he is ugly really
I am taller than him
I am earning more than him and I don't know if he can provide me a good life even a simple one if we get married in case
He said he is not ready yet for a commitment until his career is fixed
I don't know if I can be proud of him or show him off to my friends and family since he is just a simple guy, simple job, simple face
Sometimes I get bored
I am the one who pays on our date (the reason is that he lost his job for two months and starting right now, he doesn’t want to go out but I still insisted he says until he recovered from his debts since he lost his job for two months)
He is younger than me by one year...

But...

I like texting him, he makes me happy, he listens to my problem, he makes me feel special, I like being with him

I really don;t know if a love him or I am still looking for Mr. Right…

Is it wrong that I want to like a person who has a better job who can support me financially (I just need a simple life)
Someone that I will be proud

I admit I have a simple beauty, but for your information my past bfs are really cute and handsome.

Or is it really early to tell, we have been dating for few months and I just need to give him a chance

Sorry guys don’t get me wrong, I feel so not confident in my situation right now, I am just confused, right now he makes me smile and feel special and I want to be proud of him.

Help…

I accepted him for what he is but I am really confused right now, should I continue and pursue our relationship, wait for him to be ready?

I think I am really mean here, I am just confuse, make me feel that it doesn’t matter and he might be the right guy for me…

[father paradox]

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Lots of people tell me I am immature, boring never, but immature yes

There seems to be 2 issues here.
1) He is "ugly".
2) That he does not have a good job.

For the "ugly" issue. The big problem seems to be not what you think. But what do other people think. You want someone to "show off, or be proud of". Don't worry what other people think, worry about what you think .

The "he does not have a good job" issue is more complex . Especially here in the pilipinas where male/female roles are more traditional. Men are supposed to be the "provider" and in they are supposed to work, support the woman etc. The woman is supposed to stay at home, get pregnant and look after the house . In america most of the time both husband and wife works. Quite often the woman makes more money then the man does. But some men do not like it that the woman makes more money then them. Sometimes the man stays home and looks after the house and the woman works.

For me, I like it that my wife works and she is an independent woman. (I make more money then her, but she has her own money). Some men do not like that.

In your case is he lazy ? Also he is younger then you by 1 year. How old is he ? Is he smart ?
Will he make you feel happy 10+ years later ?

[cho]

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love doesn't compare. if only you can appreciate him for what he is and what he have, then you can tell whether you love him or not. And if you can appreciate him then, there's a big chance of him making you feel happy 10 or more years from now. Otherwise, the thought of him making you happy won't last. Coz it was conditonal, just because he makes you feel happy.

In a relationship, it's not always smooth sailing. We are just humans. One way or the other, you'll get disappointed of him but if you know how to appreciate him then you can still go back from where you started with him. Mr. paradox is right, would he make you feel happy 10+ years later? give it a thought

[lady_J]

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hi:

hmm...do u believe sa sinasabi ng iba..na kapag tinamaan ka ng true love ay na babalewala un
hinahanap natin sa isang tao..or ung "ideal person".

like in ur case u don't like him physically, bcoz maybe he's not ur ideal man but u like him,
the way u talked to each other, u said he's sweet, and gentleman.

For me i felt that u have a sumthing feelings for him, a feeling that can glow
but the problem is ur afraid on wat others may thinks on u,
natatakot sa sasabihin ng ibang tao sau.

At pinipilit mo ang sarili mo na hindi siya ang ideal man...
pakinggan mo ang puso mo. Hindi man siya ganun ka-gwapo pero
presentable naman siya kapag humarap sa iba.
Hindi siya sumasahod ng malaki pero masipag naman siya
at nakikita mo naman siguro na nag-eefort siya.

well gudluck to u:
sumtimes Heart sees  what is invisible to the eyes

[jennifer_aragon]

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Hi Mr. Paradox, it seems that he is not lazy, he really does not earn that well, I earn more than him, but I don't think it will be enough for both of us... He is 26 right now... He actually says that he doesnt want me to always be in charge with our date, that's why we can't have a definite relationship right now...

Probably it is still too early to tell, I just get bored of waiting for us to have a definite relationship, he promised me that things will change, will see each other twice a week, right now we are seeing each other once every two weeks.  Probably it is really early to tell.

Cho_romano and Lady J thanks for the reply... I'll give you updates once in a while...

[father paradox]

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In a relationship, it's not always smooth sailing. We are just humans.

Very good point. I have been married for 7+ years. It has not been all smooth sailing , lots of ups and downs .
Ups and downs are not bad but part of life. When you get married things do not magically change
I enjoy being married, but just to say it is not like the movies

Hi Mr. Paradox, it seems that he is not lazy, he really does not earn that well, I earn more than him, but I don't think it will be enough for both of us... He is 26 right now... He actually says that he doesnt want me to always be in charge with our date, that's why we can't have a definite relationship right now...

I am not 100% sure how dating works here . Like when me and the wife where dating. I made more money then she did. We would take turns "organizing" the date. So when it was my turn I might choose a certain activity. When she was in charge, then she would choose something that costs less. Maybe invite me to her house for dinner she made etc, again it does not have to be fancy Just an idea

[jennifer_aragon]

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it is nice to hear that, I hope something good will happen to us, I hope I will be able to accept him for who he is and what he can't do for me...