The New Men's RulesWe always hear "The Rules" from the female side.
Now here are "The Rules" from the male side.1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn how to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl now. If it's up, put it down. You don't hear us complain about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be!
4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this: Subtle hints don't work! Strong hints don't work either! Just say it.
5. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials.
6. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 days.
9. If you think your ass is fat, it probably is. Just don't ask us!
10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, we meant the other one.
11. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
12. Crying is blackmail.
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
14. Men see in only 16 colors (like the Windows default setting). Peach is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
16. If we ask "What is wrong?" and you reply "Nothing!", we will act like nothing is wrong.
17. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer that you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking, unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
20. And lastly... I am in shape. Round is a shape!
If you are a women, thank you for reading this.
If you are a man and don't mind sleeping on the couch tonight, show this to your wife or girlfriend?
