ganito tlga pgwla kng mpagsbihan..
Love triangle, falling inlove with your bestfriend, falling inlove with your
bestfriend's friend, falling inlove with your bestfriend's love.. seems like
just for movies, until we've been through this ironic episode of our lives.
There are tons of times ive been caught in the middle, but it never crossed
my mind that i would be in something like this. Confusion, fear, sadness,
regrets, guilt, shame. i dont know how to put in exact words what it felt
to be in my place.. but i tell you it wasn't easy.
So many voices in my head I don't know Which one to listen. I was a afraid to
make a move coz if i do, someone might get hurt, but if i don't, it will
still end up to one thing.. pain. I was being still but i know i was hurting
my own self. Regrets coz i should have stop when i knew that we were both
falling, but i didn't coz i didn't expect that it would go this far. I
didn't coz i was happy and it felt good to be appreciated by some guy you'd
never imagined he will and to be liked by someone just because you're you.
So good that i forgot to keep in mind and to remember that moment under the
sun and how easily you can get burned. Sadness coz i wanted him in my
life, i wanted her in my life but i know i can't hold them both for a
situation like that.
I knew it would be this complicated, but i never thought that it would be
this hard, to choose between a love that could have been, and a friendship
that should be forever.
The worst part is to see your bestfriend's pain, pain that was all because
of you. I can't swallow the fact that i, the bestfriend was the one who's
making it harder for her when i was supposed to be the one helping her. I
was used to run to her to share and to ask advice if something is bothering
me but now i couldn't.
Looking back at that time, i can't seem to bear with the rapid changes that
happened, where i was left to do nothing but lay down and found myself crying
and wishing that the feelings would just fade away to make it easier
and hope that things will go back to normal the way they were, the way they
used to be, the way it was supposed to be when the three of us would just hang
out, talk for hours till midnight about our little nothings, with no other
feelings but pure friendship.
In the end, ive chosen my bestfriend because i know her and she knows me way
better than him. I couldn't trust him the way i trust her. Ive trusted fate
that i will meet someone that won't come between me and my bestfriend, and i
know i will, someday. Im still grateful that somewhere in time it did happen
that tested our friendship that not even a guy and some stupid romantic love
could break it.
As for the guy, im struggling to shrug off my feelings, not for my
bestfriend, but for me. I wanted to care but i don't want to be the one to cry.
I just hope that he would find somebody else who will whole heartedly embrace
him and be ready for any possibilities that he might do, somebody whose brave
enough..coz i wasn't. I still want him to be my friend though, and that's all
we're gonna be, nothin more.
